A few months ago Victoria Beckham uploaded a picture of kissing herself kissing her daughter Brooklyn on her lips. This was to wish Brooklyn’s birthday. Although it was meant to be a “happy” post, but it agitated a new discussion in comments discussing if it’s okay to kiss your child on lips or not.
Doctors say that it is necessary for children to feel “loved” and “protected” in a house. But lip kissing a child might not be the best way to express the parent’s love towards children they say. Is it really that problematic? Here is what children’s psychologists say on this.
Change of “personal” perspective
As lips and mouth are considered as personal boundaries of any person, it is necessary to understand that it also applies to children. Kissing on lips even my parents can probably change the understanding of what is personal for a child.
A child psychologist named Charlotte Reznick explains that when parents kiss their child on lips, it gives a sign that it is okay to do that and anyone can intrude their personal space and do the same without any problem.
But this behavior is not just limited to kissing but also applies to tightly wrap around the body, forced kisses, force food, aggressive tickles, etc. So this type of “invasive” parents might increase their kid to develop a condition called “victim syndrome” which practically makes the child unable to say NO and maintain a personal boundary while interacting with others.
Not necessarily required
Researchers, doctors, and dentists all warn parents to avoid unnecessary physical contact with the child. There are tons of bacteria, viruses, and fungi that are harmless for adults but might cause an infection in children when they re kissed or hugged unnecessary.
Young children have a weak immune system as compared to adults, which is why they are at a high risk of such microbial transmissions, Charlotte Reznick further clarifies that a number of extremely dangerous pathogens could be transmitted via saliva which is bad for their health.
An act of sympathy
When kissing on lips to a child is made common, he may start embracing it as an act of sympathy and may start kissing other people the same way. It is normal for a child to behave the same way as he sees his parents doing whether at home or outside. So this behavior might initiate a child to kiss other children or adults on the lips, the same way as his parents do to him, considering it normal.
The psychologist advises parents to understand that even if this kissing on lips look like an innocent lovey gesture, the child may learn and mimic it with people without realizing the intimate complications of it. That is why psychologists suggest to kiss your child only on cheeks or forehead and never on lips.
Share your views if you think kissing your child on kiss is acceptable and normal. If you agree, also share until which age this could be done and is the parent-kid kiss on the lips acceptable regardless of the gender differences or not.